Monday, August 30, 2010

How To Decorate Your Post-Apocalyptic Home

I received in the mail today the newest Restoration Hardware catalog.  I had not even realized I was on the mailing list, but, as these things go, it came through the mail slot.  It was timely, as my husband and I (as we gleefully covered the last of the Restoration Hardware 1990's colorless "silver" paint in our kitchen with green) had been ruminating aloud about the post-economic-collapse fate of the place.  As chain retailers go, it sort of catered to three elements that have evaporated over the past year and a half; upper middle class careless spending, more-expensive-than-necessary home improvements, and the impulse buy.  Since we thought it on its way out, I was interested to see the catalog arrive announcing "Reinvented. Remodeled. Reborn." across the front.  I thought "Oh well then, they are smarter than we are. They have restyled the brand to knock down the prices and keep sales coming in."  Silly me.  The opposite is true.

It seems that while other retailers are marketing towards those being "frugal" and the trite bounce we all take into escapism of color and whimsy during hard times, Restoration Hardware is taking a different stand.  They evidently think that removing all color from the world, jacking up prices, and creating an ambiance that says "The solar blast and subsequent ash clouds removed all colors and finishes from my world but I will struggle on." will bring in the new customers in droves.

 Since we cannot all be lucky enough to sift through French rubble after the blast, this 5' tall clock-face based on the clock at a small French village tower can be yours for a mere $1495.

In the "rebirth" they did  not remove paint from their inventory; they just somehow managed to remove EVEN MORE color from the hues offered. 

"The solar blast bleached just about all pattern out of my rugs but since they seem to be intact I will struggle on with my home decor."

Since humans were able to take shelter, but the animals were not so lucky, mounting the bleached skulls of the poor creatures is a post-apocalyptic trend in Restoration Hardware-land.  Admire their beauty and natural form, and mourn the loss of color and art as you gaze at your collection and rest your feet on stacks of salvaged and stripped  books, once used for reading.

2 comments:

  1. Claudia @ Salvage ChicAugust 30, 2010 at 2:48 PM

    A BIG LOL!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. (snickering) ... hey, Spencer has a goat skull with horns just like the ones in that pic lying around in his room if you want to reproduce that aesthetic. Could look good in the library ;-)

    ReplyDelete

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